By My Side
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: The Inquisitor is Asexual, and Josephine is sensitive about her figure. Together, they make each other the luckiest people in Thedas.


Josephine took a sigh, steadying herself, and knocked on the door to Cantis Trevelyan's quarters.

"Come in!" It was remarkable how instantly recognizable as her Inquisitor's, deep and rough, but still warm and welcoming at the same time. She turned the knob, and entered the room. Tonight was a special night, and she was wearing a dress specificity made for tonight.

Inside, he was sitting on their black leather couch, leaned against a fur pillow, with a book in his hands. He turned, and he smiled at her, setting the book aside. "Heya." He flashed that snow white smile at her, eyes crinkling happily upwards in the way that they did only for her, and she swooned, just a little.

"My lord." She greeted in a teasingly formal tone, even though they both knew that it wasn't needed. "I've finished my work for tonight. May I come in?"

"Of course." His voice was warm and loving as he patted the couch cushions beside him. "You don't need to ask, silly goose."

Josephine strode in front of the couch, feeling the crackling fireplace just behind her, and swept her hands down to draw attention to her dress, which she had ordered specifically to be provocative for her love, black laces with golden ornaments on the sides and a low cut. He had been very kind about not moving too fast, for her sake, but she had an unshakable feeling that she was making him wait, and, especially considering that he was her first love, she didn't want to do this wrong. She was aware that she ate too much, to the point where she had once been called a _'prize Antivan sow'_ in the Orlesian courts, leaving her sensitive about her figure ever since, knowing just how her hips flared and her fleshy thighs.

But she knew how much he loved her and hoped that would be enough.

"Do you like it?"

Cantis chuckled. "My lady, you could make a paper bag look like designer fashions." She giggled, and his smile grew wider. "But yes, you look gorgeous."

She sat on the couch beside him and laid on her Inquisitor, feeling his strong arms tighten around her as she buried her head on his chest. It was so nice, being able to just be with him. No diplomacy, no assignments. Just the two of them, together.

"I love you." The words were slow and warm, pouring like honey, and her heart thudded at the sweetness in his voice.

"I love you too." The words reminded her of that day when he had duelled for her honour, and admitted his love for her when she intervened. Seeing him there, covered in blood and ready to die or kill for her safety, she realized that she had fallen in love with him.

Josephine sat up a little, wrapping her arms around his neck and lifted her head, kissing him gently, and she could feel him smile as she did, swooning a little as she felt the rough stubbly beard against her cheeks.

"We've been together for some time now." She murmured against his warm skin when she leg go of him to breathe.

He smiled. "Eight months, twenty-five days and between five and six hours, depending on how you count." He winked at her. "But who's counting?"

Josephine's eyes shot open. He was keeping track of every day? And knew it to the hour? She smiled at the thought, knowing that to be just like him.

She sat up threw a leg over his hip, straddling his lap, and resumed kissing him, feeling strong arms slip around her back, holding her close.

When he pulled back, he lifted a hand to her cheek, rubbing the smooth skin there, and he had a warm, loving smile playing across his lips, a look of awe on his face. "These moments are so precious to me." There was a reverence in his voice that she was still unused to hear, even after all this time together. "These few gracious moments, just for us." He caressed her cheek, and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. "You have no idea how happy you make me."

Josephine giggled, and shook her head. "Oh, I know exactly how much, my lord." She gave him another kiss, holding it just long enough to make herself dizzy. "You make me the most joyful woman to ever live."

"I wish this moment would last forever."

She fluttered her eyelashes and leaned down for another kiss. "You can have more," Another kiss, warm heat tingling from his lips to hers. "If you want." She thought the words were clear, but he obviously didn't.

He shook his head, just a little, not breaking eye contact. "I'm afraid I can't believe that there's more." He kissed her on the cheek. "I don't want anything more from this life than this."

Josephine blinked and sat up a little, the words running through her head. What did he mean by that? Did... did he mean that he didn't want her that way? Was she not attractive enough? "What do you mean?" The words were quick and almost frantic.

He smiled, a little unsure of himself now. "I mean that I love you." He caressed her cheek again, still smiling. "I need nothing more from you."

She pulled back completely, releasing her arms, and his heart sank at that, frantically searching his thoughts for what he must have said. "Something's wrong." She whispered in a broken voice, thinking that he didn't find her attractive. "It's me isn't it?"

Cantis had no idea what he could have said or done to ruin the evening so quickly, and he was scrambling to figure it out. "Josie, what ar-" But it was too late. She had already thrown herself onto the other end of the couch, and was sobbing. Whatever he had done, he must have done it badly.

"Josephine," He whispered desperately, unsure of what he had done, throwing an arm around her comfortingly. "W-what's wrong? What did I do?"

She was shaking, thinking that she had realized why he hadn't made any advances on her. "It's me, isn't it?" There were tears in her voice, and it broke his heart. "You don't think I'm attractive anymore! I knew I had been eating two much. Maker above, I've already had to let my dress out twice..."

"Josephine, no!" He cried, wrapping his arms around her and held her closely. "Sweetheart, you're absolutely beautiful!" Cantis was now completely and utterly confused. Only moments earlier they had been sharing time together happily. What in the world could he have said?

She buried her head in his chest, sobbing quietly. "Then what is it?"

He shook his head very gently, holding her tight. "Josephine, I don't even know what we were talking about."

"You-you don't?" Josephine looked up, her eyes a little hopefully. He nodded, and she suddenly felt very foolish. This was just a miscommunication, and she must have looked insane to him. She had thought that a comment on her, and it had _hurt_. She should have known that wasn't like him. "Oh."

Cantis pulled back, although he kept her in his arms, and she shivered a little at the seriousness in his eyes. "Okay, so we clearly said something wrong. So tell me plainly, and I'll give you a plain answer: What were you asking?"

She clasped his hands in hers, and met his eyes. "I was asking if you..." She lowered her head out of embarrassment, unsure of how to ask, but looked up a little with a shy smile. "Wanted to share a bed tonight, _amore_."

"Oh." He said, a little bluntly. He hadn't been expecting that, of all things, and the question threw him off guard. "Well... do... do you want to?"

And her heart sank again, although not quite so much this time. That wasn't the reaction she had been hoping for. "It's taken me a long time to be... comfortable with the idea, my lord." She admitted slowly. "But I... I would alright with it, yes."

Cantis shook his head a little. "That's not what I asked, Josie. I asked if you _wanted_ it, not if you were agreeable to the idea."

"Erm..." She trailed off, thinking. She hadn't expected that question, not from him. She had thought about it before but, like any real ambassador, had thought about him before herself. "I don't know. I had thought that you would, though."

He studied her face very intently, reading her like a book that way that he did, and didn't speak for the longest time. "I will if you want to." He said very slowly, with love in his voice, reaching up and touching her cheek in the tender way that he did, the way she loved. "But don't you worry about making me wait. I don't mind, really."

Her mouth went dry, unsure of what he meant by that, touching on her earlier fears. "D-do you not... want me?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "Is that what upset you earlier?" She nodded mutely. "Damnit, I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He bit his lip for a moment, thinking of how to explain himself. "No, I don't." He said after a moment, but quickly raised a hand, shaking it emphatically. "B-but let me explain, sweetie."

Josephine froze, silent at his insistence, but terrified, with a pounding heart in her chest. If the man who had given so much of his blood, sweat and tears to protect her couldn't find her attractive, what hope was there?

"Listen," He cupped her face with both hands, eyes meeting her own. "I want you to hear very, very clearly, without a doubt: That is _not_ a comment on you, love. I just..." He trailed off, and gave a frustrated sigh. "My dear, sweet Josie-Posie, I just don't... want... _anyone_ that way. At all."

Josephine swallowed hard, unsure of herself. She had come here tonight expecting him to be all over her, and now it might look like he never would. "R-really?" She had known such people in the royal courts, called there _asessuata_ , and they tended to be the best diplomats since they didn't get caught up in courtly intrigue, but she hadn't expected that from him.

He nodded mutely. "Yes." He whispered, holding her gingerly. "I don't feel that way about anyone. I don't have an _aversion_ to the idea of being with you that way, but I don't want it, exactly."

"S-so you... don't think I..." She trailed off, to embarrassed to finish the sentence, but this time he guessed the question, and cut her off with a gentle finger over her lips to silence her.

"Josephine, listen to me. You are the, unequivocally, the single most beautiful woman in the entire world, and I love you with all of my heart."

She swallowed hard again, and looked down again, repeating herself. She didn't want to ask but, at the same time, she needed to hear it. "Do you think that I... eat too much?" The last words were in a lower voice, she didn't want to say them. The thought hurt, but not as much as not knowing the answer.

Cantis shook his head vehemently. "Is that a problem in Antiva?" He asked, confused. He had never known anyone who ate too much, the idea seemed ridiculous to him. Being able to eat more than what you needed was a blessing, one that he was glad he could provide for his darling Josephine.

"Isn't it everywhere?" She quirked an eyebrow, unsure of what made him ask that. She had been raised in a world of vanity where looks were everything, to be sure, but it seemed like everyone needed to worry about such things except the impoverished. "What I mean is that I... well I have... curves, my lord. I have... rounded edges from how much I enjoy those little cakes."

"So?" He asked with a shrug. "Josie, we come from very different worlds. I don't know about in Antiva or Orlais or wherever, but in the Free Marches _everyone_ works hard for their food." He shook his head. "Bigger girls are... prized, treasured. It means that they're hard workers, that they noble, strong, not to mention utterly beautiful." He leaned in and kissed her. "Just like you."

She smiled, her eyes a little wet. "Really?"

"Yes." His voice was adamant. "And I love you with all of my heart. You are _gorgeous_ , and I do hope that you continue to enjoy those little cakes, because I'm _never, ever_ going to stop giving them to you. I love you, and I always want to see you healthy, happy, and safe."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with a full heart, realizing that, for once in her life, she wasn't just some pretty face in the courts, or just an ambassador who worked herself into the ground for the cause, or even a friend who couldn't help the woman that she considered an older sister. She was a desired companion, wanted, needed, by the most amazing person in the world.

She was loved.

"Now," He murmured after what felt like forever. "Let me ask you: Do _you_ want to spend tonight with me?"

Josephine thought for a minute on that, searching through herself, and then shook her head. After what had just happened that felt... almost crass. She didn't want to make love, not now, but she didn't want to leave either.

"No." She murmured, holding him closely. "But... may I stay here, with you, tonight? I... I don't want to... do anything, but I don't want to leave now."

"Of course, love." He murmured, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his hips. "You mean everything to me." There was reverence in his voice. "I love you. When all of this ends, when the Inquisition no longer needs us, I want to be with you forever. For the rest of my life."

Josephine giggled, and laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart. "That sounds agreeable to me, my lord."

He watched her very carefully when she undressed for the night, and her heart soared when she saw the adoring smile on his face. "You're beautiful." He assured, and she smiled.

When she laid down for the night, beside him, her eyes fluttered shut in happiness, safe in the knowledge that her Cantis would be there in the morning, and that she would always be safe, cared for, and loved.


End file.
